No Turning Back

  No Turning Back

  A Gay Arranged Marriage Instalove Romance

  Jerry Hastings

  No Turning Back Copyright © 2019 by Jerry Hastings. All Rights Reserved.

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.

  Cover designed by Jerry Hastings

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

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  CONTENTS

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  About the Author

  Chapter 1

  Gavin

  We were having a party on the second floor. The house was located in the woods, and dare I say, it looked better than mine, not that I was poor or anything like that. Quite the contrary, my family was well off and had enough money to live without problems, but this place was made for rich people, and I got here only because Gabriel, a friend of mine, invited me, despite some people not wanting my presence.

  He was sitting beside me, sipping from his red plastic cup. The party had been going for some time now, and we had been talking, and he had been checking some of the girls out. I had eyes for men, and I didn’t want to tell him that. He was a friend of mine, and I didn’t know how he was going to take to the fact that I liked dicks instead of pussys. It was better to keep that sort of thing where he was not even going to suspect it. Whenever he mentioned liking one of the girls, I would just nod and pretend that I liked them too. Gabriel needed someone to reaffirm his thoughts, and I was happy to provide that to him.

  “Have you seen that guy over there? He is having some fun,” Gabriel said, pointing to a place in the crowd.

  I tried to follow where he was pointing at, and after some effort, I did find the man… and it was then that my heart skipped a beat. He looked so sweet and handsome and adorable. He was everything that I wished in a man, but… I also knew that I didn’t have much of a chance with him, especially because I was still a closeted gay man and he was probably straight.

  “Huh, yeah. He looks okay, I guess. He is having fun just talking with his friends. I don’t know why you are paying attention to him, though.”

  Gabriel smiled and said, “I just like looking at people when they have no idea that I am watching them.”

  “That is creepy.”

  Gabriel widened and his smile and asked, “Then what the hell are you doing here with me still? Go do something else, have some fun like him and spread your wings.”

  I shook my head in disbelief and stood up. “Right, I guess I might as well do that,” I said before going to the crowd, mingling with them, and losing myself in them. I didn’t dance or anything, I just walked from spot to spot, sometimes enjoying my drink, sometimes talking with someone I knew but that I was not friends with.

  It was then that I stumbled upon the guy that Gabriel was talking about. When he was sitting, I didn’t pay attention to this, but he was tall, like, tall enough to be a head taller than me. And it was much more than that too. He was strong, muscular, and had an athletic build that put mine to shame. I was not the kind of sedentary young man that seemed to plague our current generation of students in the country, but that man was… damn.

  I looked in his eyes, and it was like I was seeing much more than a guy. I was seeing someone that I wanted to be with, to spend some hours with, and maybe even days and months. Was this… love at first sight? I could not believe that. I didn’t believe that sort of thing was possible. I was the kind of man that thought that love only existed once people got to know one another for years.

  However, here I was, looking at this guy, and he just… smiled as if he knew what I was thinking. The crowd, the world around me, and even the forest seemed to be frozen right now, and that the only thing that was happening was the connection that was beginning to form between the two of us. I thought that he was going to find it weird that I was just staring at him, my mind feeling a bit weird because I had to tilt my head back to look at his eyes, but he didn’t, and just smiled as he continued to hold his red plastic cup.

  “Hey there,” he began to say, and his voice was like music to my ears, “Care for a drink? I have more than enough money to invite someone to spend some good time with me.”

  I stood there without responding to him, his words going back and forth in my mind, and my head trying to process what he had requested of me. I thought I had no chance with this man, but here he was, inviting me to go drink with him. It could not be possible, but the more time passed, the more I got used to the idea of… having a chance with him, and then maybe finally get out of the sexuality prison that was put around me.

  “Oh yeah, sure I want to,” I said, finally breaking free from the trance that I had put myself into. Even though I blamed society for still being a gay man, there was no denying that I sabotaged myself too. Conditions were created to make it so I could not enjoy life the way I was supposed to, and now, being nineteen, I was more than supposed to spread my wings; I needed to do that.

  I didn’t even know his name as he took me through the crowd. He was leading the way to a spot where there weren’t as many people and where we could enjoy a drink without the other students pestering us. I kept on looking at his back, and ass, and back, and ass, eyeing that man for what he was, and wishing that he would spend just one night with me. But that was just crazy, and it was never going to happen.

  We sat down on two of the stools, and he ordered the drinks. We began to talk about unimportant, small things just to break some of the ice. Even though this guy was my crush, and I still didn’t ask his name yet, and neither did he ask for mine, I was still reluctant to spread my wings in his presence. I felt as if that was going to ruin the little connection that had formed between the two of us.

  “What is your name?” He asked after we talked about the weather tomorrow, the likelihood of there being snow, and also about some of the professors that we hated.

  “Luca,” I said, and he widened his eyes, as if he knew about me or my name. I got curious, so I asked, “Does it remind you of anything?”

  “No… nothing. I just find your name cute and adorable. Kind of Italian, is it not?”

  I was surprised. “Yes, my name is indeed Italian. I don’t think that you can see it here, but my skin is olive.”

  “Right, Italian… and olive skin,” he said before opening a smile, and it was one of the best smiles I had ever seen, completely turning that man into something else, and making my heart melt for him.

  “My name is Gavin,” he told me after gulping from his red plastic cup and placing it on the bar in front of us, “It’s nice to meet you, Luca,” he continued before laughing at the fact that we had been talking for over half an hour without either of us knowing what each other’s names were, as if that didn’t matter, and as if more important things and feelings were making themselves known.

  But that was just impossible. I saw him getting all cozy with women and how it seemed as if he was as straight as a pole. But okay, even if he were gay, I had no doubt that he would not fall for a kind-of-skinny man with no confidence like me.

  We talked some more, and we got drunker too, but we were still very much lucid about what was going on. It was not long before we were sharing more intimate things about one an
other, like the fact that he pees outside the toilet at night because he is still sleepy. Understanding, but crazy things that only men were supposed to know were shared with me, and that made this man so much more real and perfect.

  And then, we were getting to hotter, more intimate things that I should not know about him, like how pussys felt under his hips when he was plunging deep into them. Just like that, Gavin went from being a stranger to replacing Gabriel as my best friend in a matter of an hour, and he was not done with that. It was the middle of the night, the party was still going strong, and Gavin kept going on about his life.

  I was taken by the momentum and heat of the moment, our conversation going on as if there was no end to it. I was feeling so confident with myself, talking out loud, holding my plastic cup high in the air while laughing, and feeling as if there was no chance that I was going to be separated from Gavin. He and I were like two people who were separated from birth, but who were always going to come back and meet one another again because we were meant to live together and have happy lives and marry and adopt kids.

  “Hey, do you know that I am gay and that I like you?” I blurted, and then immediately froze while my hand still held my plastic cup. I should not have said that. What was I thinking? I just condemned myself to have to go to another college because, now, everyone was going to know that I liked cocks instead of pussys.

  But instead of walking away from me, Gavin just looked me in the eye, and he did that for a long time; time enough to make me feel even more uncomfortable. I looked at his eyes and thought that I was going to see rejection in them toward me, but... that was not what I was seeing. There was something in them that I could not quite put my finger on, and which was… promising, and relieving, as if he didn’t mind or didn’t seem surprised about the sort of thing that I ended up spurting out.

  “You know what, Luca? I am bi,” he finally said, though his voice was lower than usual, as if he didn’t want people around us to hear him. Despite that, I still heard him as if there was no party and loud music being played. I was his and his only, and nothing around me seemed to matter.

  Gavin finished his drink and put his cup on the bar. “Do you want to come with me to the ceiling? We can have some privacy there. I don’t feel like continuing this conversation in here anyway.”

  Chapter 2

  Us

  He didn’t wait for me to mutter a response. He stood up and walked, and I followed him as my heart panicked. What was really going on? I didn’t know, but despite feeling so nervous, I was liking the direction that things were taking.

  Gavin took me to the ceiling, and closed the small trap door so that nobody would disturb us. Then, he sat down behind the window, and I followed him. The light coming from the moon was the only thing illuminating the place, and it created a comforting environment. I was nervous before this, but now I felt so much better, and that I could continue that conversation with him without fainting.

  But here I was still, having one magical and unlikely moment with the man that I thought was never even going to pay attention to me.

  I didn’t know what to say, so I let him start. “I have been looking at you ever since you got into this party. You are… I don’t know what you are, but my heart beats faster for you, and I know that… I want to spend more time with you, and get to know you better.”

  “Gavin…”

  “Look, I know that this might sound weird, but I didn’t think I had a chance with you,” he said, looking down as if to tell me that he meant that more than anything he told me before coming here.

  I felt so connected with him, especially after that last thing that he told me. “Gavin, you have no idea, but I was thinking the same thing about you too... I saw you surrounded by women, concluded that you were straight, and thought that I had no chance because of that and also because you seemed so popular.”

  He looked up, his eyes meeting mine once again, and there was something different in them. Love and something mixed with that? I didn’t know for sure, but the more I thought about that, the more it seemed that it was the case. Gavin… was he really falling in love with me?

  Gavin then smiled as he understood that we were both having feelings for one another, but didn’t want to externalize them because we were both afraid of taking the first step.

  “I knew that something was going to happen today,” he said, looking outside now.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Tomorrow I am going out of this city, and I don’t even know where my parents will take me. They want to keep it a surprise, and now…” He began to say, but had to stop because his eyes had gotten teary.

  “And now what?” I asked while trying to keep my tone warm for him. I wanted to let him know that I was here to give him the support that he needed.

  “And now I have someone that makes me want to stay here,” he told me, his head turning so that his eyes could look at mine once again.

  He didn’t need to tell me who he was talking about. My heart thumped loud enough to be heard by me. I didn’t know what to do at this point. Ever since we both started talking, he had been the one leading the conversation, and I was just following him. But now, he was not doing that anymore, and he was just as lost as I was.

  We were sitting so close to one another. Gavin’s hand reached for mine, and I didn’t object when he grabbed it. He proceeded to feel my hand, his fingers working slowly as he tried to comfort me, and also himself. His eyes continued to look at mine, and I didn’t have any intention of looking anywhere else.

  And then, as if by magic and as if something was controlling me, I approached my lips to his until they connected. I was kissing him soon after, his lips feeling soft and tender on mine, and the more I continued to do that, the more I thought of never letting go of Gavin regardless of what was going to happen. We had just met, but he already meant so much to me.

  We kissed for a good amount of time; enough time to make it feel as if the sun had already risen, and then his lips proceeded to withdraw from mine. I looked at his eyes, trying to understand what he was going to do next, but found nothing. He was an enigmatic man, and that made me feel so much more connected to him.

  “That was good,” he said with half a smile, and looking down as if to tell me that he was shy about kissing someone… another guy.

  “I liked it too,” I said, missing his lips on mine already, and wishing that he would go back to kiss me.

  “We can stay here for as long as you like,” he whispered, and I nodded. I snuggled closer to him, rested my head on his shoulder, and looked outside the window as I felt his body, his warmth and what made him the man that he was.

  He put his hand on my arm and caressed it as time passed. I didn’t feel like we needed to speak anything. Everything about us just seemed to click, and that we had been made for one another. Without speaking, we were actually getting to know one another better than otherwise. I felt that we could live for eternity like this, and that I was never ever going to need anything and anyone else in my life.

  Time passed, and then things began to get hot between us. It was not long before we were getting naked, and his body was standing on top of mine, his dick trying to come in. One normal and foreseeable conclusion to our meeting that was. There was no way that we were not going to have sex.

  But it was also so much better than what I thought it would be. Here I was, having my first time with a stranger that was actually not a stranger anymore. We had just met, but I knew him so well. Gavin thought the same about me. When he entered me for the first time, and we continued our intercourse until we were both tired, that was when I knew that just like me, he was thinking of a way of never having to move from this city to wherever it was that he was going to.

  We were both lying down on the floor, his chest still panting from our moment of shared love and connection. I could feel as if he was still inside me, and I wished of doing it again with him. He was nothing like I imagined he would be, and that made everything s
o much better. We had just met, but we had sex as if we had been married for years.

  “Did you like that?” He asked, his eyes now looking at mine and not at the beautiful full moon outside.

  I smiled, feeling relieved and that I wished to have his body on mine once again. He was just so good with what we did. I didn’t think that he would be so experienced. He led me through everything that I needed to do and know. He was a good teacher, and that revealed something else about him too: that he was a dependable and mature guy.

  “Yes, I liked that quite a bit,” I said with a smile.

  Gavin laughed a bit and then said, “I feel like being here with you, and just being with you as if nothing else mattered. Don’t you feel the same way…?”

  “I absolutely do,” I said, wishing that his parents would change their minds and that he was going to remain here in this city. I had just found the man that I wished to marry, so why the hell did things have to happen the way they were going to?